Day 244 - Quitting Gambling
Developing a healthy cynicism, the key to living in a world full of gambling ads.
Day 244 - Developing a healthy cynicism: the key to living in a world full of gambling ads
One of the hardest parts of quitting gambling, is how ingrained it seems to be in our culture. I don’t think the average person realizes just how bombarded they are by gambling ads, or if we take it further, ads that are trying to sell you on the idea that “do X, and be on the path to $$”. It would simple enough to compare the struggling gambling addict to that of the struggling alcoholic. Certainly, alcohol ads are even more prevalent then gambling ads, certainly our culture is consumed with alcohol even more so then gambling. Yet, when we extend gambling ads and culture to include things like the Lottery, Banking ads, Mortgage ads, and all the other financial pressures that dominate our culture… maybe the gambling addict is actually far worse off. In many ways one could argue that gambling addiction is actually a financial addiction, an addiction to greed, a maladaptive behavior to satiate this addiction to greed. If a gambling addict is actually a greed addict, then I would say every single ad in America can trigger the gambling addict. When you think about gambling this way, it is no surprise how quickly America is swallowing up gambling at every opportunity.
So how does one live in a world that advertises to the addict non-stop? Perhaps one can simply “ignore” it all. The problem is, I don’t think that is actually practically possible these days. If I were to truly ignore all the things which trigger me into gambling thoughts or urges… I would have to lock myself in a dark room and never leave. I would have to never play video games ever again, never watch sports ever again, never play games with friends, never view social media, never watch another movie or TV show. It is just not possible, and further, doing so would be hugely detrimental to my mental health. I need to be able to enjoy things, and if almost everything can trigger my gambling thoughts… what am I to do?
Well, let me tell you, 20 years of gambling, 20 years of losing…you see some shit. You see the most incredible things ever happen in sports. I am not talking about things that may show up on the highlight reel, I am talking about meaningless events, that when attached to my gambling are truly incredible. Things like betting on a team, having them get crushed for most of the game and then pull an insane comeback just to hit the spread I bet on. In the end, the comeback is meaningless, but for the gambler, simple things like kicking a late game field goal are raised to “miraculous” events. What I came to believe, after seeing so much crazy shit happen in sports…is that I HAVE ZERO CONTROL over the game. When I first started gambling, betting made sports 100 times more enjoyable. Years later, still betting, and having lost thousands, you start realizing that the enjoyment is all bullshit. How the hell can I enjoy a bet, when I know somehow it might not win. Instead of feeling happy that my bet is 90% chance to win with 5 minutes left in the game, I become incredibly paranoid and cynical about winning. Because, I have seen that bet lose, I have seen it lose many times.
20 Years of this…and the bets stop carrying the emotional enjoyment that they once did. I start becoming cynical about everything in sports. I start thinking things are rigged, I start thinking the universe is against me. But, in the end… what I really start thinking is “this is all bullshit”. The idea that I enjoy sports more when I have a bet on the game is BULLSHIT. The idea that I would prefer spinning slots for two hours then watching a movie is BULLSHIT. The idea that “I can have fun on casino games” (Which is advertised non stop on TV) is BULLSHIT. The idea that I can win the lottery and live my dream is BULLSHIT. The Idea that I need to invest in stocks and crypto or I am missing out is BULLSHIT.
I still watch sports today, and I don’t bet. For me, I watch them differently, I watch them with the knowledge that “anything can happen, sports are crazy”, because from decades of gambling I know that to be true. Instead of being entertained by who wins and loses, or by what amount, I am entertained by the absurdity and wackiness of sports themselves. I don’t get upset when my team loses, I just brush it off as the “bullshit” that is sports. Sports is still enjoyable to me, just in a different way. Instead of being super invested, I am more like an observer, watching for those absurd moments.
When I see a gambling ad these days, I watch it with a healthy dose of cynicism. If I am watching alone, I often raise my middle finger to the TV. I treat these ads as complete bullshit. To me, all gambling companies are scum. Maybe that isn’t the truth absolutely, but to me it certainly helps. Every lottery ad is bullshit, every mortgage or banking ad is bullshit. I know that greed and money do not bring me happiness, so anything trying to sell me on that idea..is just pure junk. You can give up all that shit, you can say “I don’t need this”. For me, there is a huge freedom in this. When I can view every ad with cynicism, when I can dismiss them as just some scumbag company trying to exploit my need for greed.
There seems to be an attitude with recovery that “gambling is fine”, it just is not fine for me. Well, for me I actually believe gambling is terrible, akin to a cancer. When I take on this point of view, it isn’t a struggle to say “fuck this ad, fuck this gambling company, fuck draftkings”. I actually feel a certain calm that I am no longer triggered by these things, I no longer have the need for greed that these ads exploit. And, if you get to that point, where you are no longer triggered at all by “ads that target our desire for money/greed” you have reached a point that very few people get to.
Think about it, if you come out of a gambling addiction, or an alcohol addiction and can live sober in a world and culture that tries desperately to exploit you… hell you become something pretty close to a superhero. A wise sage in a world dominated by dopamine. People could learn a lot from us.